SHADI KE LIYE WALI KI HAISIYAT

Bismillahirrahmanirraheem

SHADI KE LIYE WALI KI HAISIYAT

Kitabullah ki ayaton aur hadith e nabwi sallalaho alaihi wasallam se saabit hai ke, aurat ki shadi ke bandhan ke liye WALI ka hona zaruri hai aur WALI ke beghair shadi shari'atan jayez nahi,

jaisa ke hz abu musa ashari (ra) se riwayat hai ke nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne farmaya:-" beghair wali ke shadi nahi "

(ahmad, tirmizi, ibn majah, abu dawood, darimi )

aise hi hz abu hurairah (ra) se riwayat hai ke nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne farmaya:-" aurat, aurat ki shadi na kare, na aurat khud se apni shadi kare "

(ibn majah)

phir mukhtalif hadith se ye bhi saabit hai ke kunwari aur shadi'shuda ke silsile me WALI ki haisiyat mukhtalif hai aur iski tafseel bhi hadith se zaahir hai,

nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne farmaya:-"  yani SHADI'shuda (shezah) ki shadi uske huqm ke beghair na ki jaaye aur Kunwari (dosheza) ki shadi uski ijaazat (raza) ke beghair na ki jaaye "

sahaba kiram ne kaha:-" uski ijaazat kaise hogi ?"

nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne farmaya ke :-" khamosh rah jaaye "

yani wah inkaar na kare toh uske sukoot ko uski raza wa ijaazat maana jaayega, kyonke yahi usi haya ka taqaaza hai,

ek riwayat me hai ke

" shadi'shuda ya bewa (widow) apni zaat ki apne wali se zyada maalik hai aur kunwari se uska baap ijaazat talab karega aur uski ijaazat uska sakoot (khamoshi) hai "

(muslim)

ye aur aisi bahut se hadith se zaahir hai ke kunwari aur shadi'shuda or bewa ke wali ki haisiyat mukhtalif hai, phir bhi kisi hadith me kahin bhi kunwari aur shadi'shuda me  ahya aur adam ahya ke zariye koi tafreeq nahi hai, aur na iska in hadith se koi ishaara milta hai,

allama ibn taimiyya in hadith ke zaman me likhte hai ke :-" kunwari aur shadishuda ya bewa me haya ya adam haya ki  koi tafreeq nahi Hai balke tafreeq toh ye hai ke shadi'shuda ya bewa huqm degi, aur kunwari raza wa ijaazat degi, phir talaq'shuda ya bewa zabaan se huqm deki aur kunwari ka sakoot uski raza wa ijaazat hoga, ye iske liye ke kunwari apni shadi ke baare me baat karne se sharmati hai, isliye use baarah e raast paigham na diya jaayega, balke paigham uske wali ko diya jaayega, aur wali uski ijaazat wa raza se shadi karega, lekin shadi'shud ya bewa me  kunwari ki tarah sharm nahin hoti, isliye use shadi ka paigham baraah e raast diya jaayega, aur wali par zaruri hoga ke use ijaazat de aur uske marzi se uski shadi kar de,

lihaza wali talaq'shud ya bewa ke lihaz se uske huqm ka paband hai aur kunwari ke lihaz se uski raza aur ijaazat ka taalib hai, "

allama ibn taimiyyah farmate hain ke:-" aurat ki shadi khwah wah talaq'shuda or bewa ho ya kunwari , uski na'pasand ko hote hue karni aqal aur usool dono ke khilaaf hai, aur jab Wali ke liye ye jayez nahin ke khareed farokht aur aajaaze me aur aise hi khaane aur libaas me uske iraade aur chaahat ke khilaaf zabardasti kare toh phir uski shadi aur mua'shirat ke baare me kaise us par zabardasti kar sakta hai ?? Jabke allah taala ne  nikah me rahmat wa barkat rakhi hai, toh agar aurat ki na'pasand aur nafrat ke ba'wajood shadi kar di jaaye toh barkat wa rahmat paida ho sakti hai ??"

(fatawa jild 32 page 25)

isse ye baat zaahir ho jaati hai ke aurat shadi'shuda ya bewa ho ya kunwari, usi ki pasand aur raza hi ko awwaliyat haasil hai,

aur iski taeed un hadithon se bhi hoti hai jin se ye saabit hai ke nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne aurat (kunwari ho ya shadishuda or bewa ) uski na'pasand aur adam raza ki bina par shadi ko radd kar diya hai,

chunanche  hz khansha bint khazzam se riwayat hai ke uske waalid ne uski shadi kardi aur wah sheezah thin aur usne us shadi Ko na'pasand kiya aur nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ke paas aayin toh aap nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) uski shadi radd kar di "

(bukhari)

aise hi hz ibn abbas (ra) se riwayat hai ke nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ke paas ek kunwari aayi aur zikr kiya ke uske baap ne uski shadi kardi hai aur use na'pasand hai toh aap nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ne use akhtiyaar diya (yani agar wah chaahe toh is shadi ko qubool kare ya radd kar de )"

(abu dawood)

aise hi akhtiyaar balughat bhi is baat ki taraf ishaarah hai ke ladki ki pasand sabse oopar hai,

haan wali ko iska hamdard wa khair'khwaah hona chahiye,

ab tak ki hadith ka mufaad ye hai ke wali ki ijaazat aurat ki shadi ke liye zaruri hai, lekin hadith me ye ishaara tak nahin hai ke wali apni pasand se koi rishta karde toh aurat ispar haan karne ki paaband hai,

balke aurat (kunwari ho ya shadi'shuda) apni pasand se apni shadi ka faisla kare toh ye koi buri baat nahi,

lekin hamare maujooda mu'ashre me aurton ko itna daba kar rakha jaata hai ke wah apni pasand ke ba'wajood munh nahi khol sakti, ke uski shadi usi pasandeedah shakhs se kar di jaaye aur agar aurat munh khol bhi de toh phir wali aur ahle khaana ka ye shadeed awwaleen farz hota hai ke use awwal radd kar diya jaaye aur use apni sab se badi tauheen maana jaaye, lekin agar ladki koi ghalat faisla leti hai, toh wali ka ye awwalleen farz hai ki use samjhaaye

isi ka asar hai ke hamare muslim muashre me apni pasand ke shakhs ke saath ladkiyon ke faraar ka haadsha pesh aaya karta hai,

kyonki ladki jaanti hai ke agar usne apni pasand par munh khol diya toh  use radd kar diya jaayega aur wah poore mua'shre me badnaam bhi hogi,

is liye wah faraar ka aasaan raasta apna leti hai,

lekin , agar ladki koi ghalat faisla leti hai, toh wali ka ye awwalleen farz hai ki use samjhaaye

warna

aurat ka apni pasand se shadi ka paigham dena islam me koi buri cheez nahi hai,

hz khadija (ra) ne apni pasand se shadi ka paigham  nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) ko bheja aur phir aapne usse apne chacha ke saamne pesh kiya aur idhar se hz warqa bin nauful ne aur aapke  chacha ne is rishte ko shadi ki bandhan  se baandh diya,

aise hi hadith me aata hai ke ek aurat aapke paas aayi aur khud ko aap se shadi ke liye pesh kiya, aapne ek baar use neeche se oopar tak dekha phir khamosh rah gayi, iske baad ek sahabi ne darkhwaast ki ke aapko chahat na ho toh iski shadi mujh se kar den, aapne aurat ko kuch dene ka huqm diya agarchah ek lohe ki anguthi ho, lekin wah ye bhi na pa saka aur aapne uski shadi un aayat ke badle kar di jo use yaad thi, aur farmaya:-" ke jo quraan tumhe yaad hai, maine isi par usse tumhari shadi kar di, tum unhe bhi sikha dena ,

shayad isi hadith ki wajah se hamare yahan shadi ke waqt do lohe ki anguthi dena nihaayat zaroori sunnat samjha jaata hai, jabke nabi e akram sallalaho alaihi wasallam (pbuh) Ne aurat ko anguthi dene ke liye us sahabi ko huqm diya tha jo us aurat se shadi karna chahta tha, 

lekin hamare yahan baat iske bar'ashk hai, warna kisi aur hadith se do anguthi dene ka koi saboot toh kya adna ishaara bhi nahi milta,

jaise shadi ki ijaazat talab karne ke liye hamare yahan ye rasam hai ke baap ke siwa dusre log ladki se ijaazat lene jaate hain, aur ye uski ijaazat ke shaahid(gawaah) banaaye jaate hain, jabke kisi hadith se ye saabit nahi ke aurat ki ijaazat ka shaahid bhi shaadi ke liye zaruri hai, aur phir amuman ye ijaazat us waqt talab ki jaati hai jab shadi ki tayyari ho jaati hai aur mahmano ki aamad ka aaghaz ho jaata hai, aur us waqt ladki ke zewraat (jewellary) aur libaas me bal'boos karne ke baad do ghair shakhs jo baap ke saath hote hain, ijaazat lene jaate hain, ek aise waqt me, wah bhi ghairon ke saamne,

kya ek ladki aur wah bhi do'sheezah (kunwari), sharm wa haya ki  Paikar " NAHI ! " Karne ki himmat kar sakti hai ??

Wah bhi ek aise mu'aashre me jahan aurat ko rasoomaat ke bandhan me baandh kar uski pasand ke khilaaf dusre ki pasand par " HAAN ! " kahne ka paaband bana diya gaya ho !!!

Dar'asal hamare muslim mu'aashre me jab tak wah aazaadi na di jaaye jo islam ne shadi ke silsile me di hai, kaamyaab shadi ka tasawwur mumkin nahi, aur aurton ko apne pasandeedah shakhs ke saath faraar hone se roka nahi ja sakta, jiska ilzaam muslim mu'aashirat par nahi, un rasoomaat par aaid ho sakta hai, jinhe aam taur par islam ka aain samjha jaata hai,

aur unka sanjeedah jayeza lene ki zarurat hai

ALLAH HAM SABKO HAQ BAAT KAHNE AUR SUNNE KI TAUFEEQ DE......... Ameen